It's for the Former

One day nasreddin went down town.It was very hot. He wanted to take a bath. So, he went to a public bathroom.

At that time he wore a shabby dress. The man in charge of the bathroom did not care him so much that the man just gave him a small piece of soap and an old dirty towel. Then he took a bath in that public bathroom.

After taking a bath, Nasreddin gave the man two gold coins happily. He did not show any disappointment on his face for the poor service. The guard was very surprised and thought Nasreddin should have given him much more money if his service was better.

A week later Nasreddin came back to the same public bathroom. He wanted to take a bath there. The guard welcomed him warmly with a nice smile. He was treated like a king. He was given the best towel and fragrant soap. The guard also gave him a massage. After taking a bath, Nasreddin gave the guard two coins with the cheapest value.

The guard stared at him confusedly. Nasreddin said, "The money is for the former service. And the gold coins last week were for your service now."

How Old Are You

Someday Nasreddin's country had a census. Two of the persons in charge came to Nasreddin's house. "How old are you, Nasreddin?" asked he. "Forty," answered Nasreddin. "Don't be ridiculous, Nasreddin. Several years ago you said that you're forty. And now you said that you're still forty," his friend said.

"You're right. I always try to be consistent with what I have said," he answered. The man was a little annoyed. He said in a more serious tone, "Try to remember. How old are you?"

"Yes, I remember now. I'm three years older than my brother." Nasreddin answered. The man asked, "How do you know?" Nasreddin answered, "A year ago, my brother said to my friend that he was two years younger than me. It was last year. It means I am now one more year older than him. So, I'm three years older than him now. My God, I'm afraid I'll become his grandfather soon."

Learning Music

Nasreddin has been sitting at the corner of a crossroad for the whole day. The people passing by the crossroad were curious about what he was doing. One of them asked, "Nasreddin, why are you sitting here all day long?"

Relaxedly he answered, "One day, there will be an accident here. If there is an accident, there will be so many people here that I cannot see the accident and what's happening. Now, I'm here waiting for the accident before the people come here. So, I would be able to see the accident."

The people laughed at him. "Where are you going?" asked Nasreddin. One of them said, "We're going to play music. Come on, let's play together."

Nasreddin refused their offer because he couldn't play music. But he was ashamed to admit that he couldn't play any musical instrument. He thought that he should take a music course.

So, the next day he went to the best music teacher in town. "Sir, I want to learn music here. How much is the fee?" Nasreddin asked the music teacher.

The teacher said, "My students pay me twenty thousands for the first month and fifteen thousands for the second month and the rest." Nasreddin said, "All right. I'll start learning music here from the second month."

The Proof

Once Nasreddin was elected a judge in his village. He faced a very puzzling case. In the trial the victim stated that the suspect had bitten his right ear. But the suspect argued that the victim had bitten his own ear.

Nasreddin said, "This is really a confusing case. The two explanation are contradictory. And there is no witness. Okay, the law trial is in recess for 30 minutes."

After that, Nasreddin left the court and went to an empty rom next door. There he tested the suspect's and victim's argument by bitting his own ears. Whenever he tried, he fell down. Therefore, his head was swollen all over. He smiled as he had found the answer to the case."

He started the trial again. "Let me see the victim's head." said he. The victim stepped up and Nasreddin examined the victim's head. After examining the head for a while, Nasreddin said, "The victim is right. The logic is as follows. If his head was swollen, it would show that he bit his own ear, and the suspect would win the court. But the fact is his head is not swollen. It means that his ear had been bitten by the suspect."

Hiding from a Thief

One night a thief was breaking into Nasreddin's house. Coincidentally Nasreddin saw it. Then he hid in a big box in the corner of the room quickly.

The thief started searching for money or jewellery in the house. He opened the cupboards, drawers, and wardrobe but he could not find anything. He was almost desperate and wanted to go out through the window. When he walked to the window he saw a big box in the corner of Nasreddin's bedroom near the window. He was glad because he thought that there was jewellery or much money inside.

The box was tightly locked from inside. Yet, he could open the door hardly. He was very surprised to find Nasreddin inside the box. The thief was angry and said, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I hide from you," said Nasreddin. "Why?" asked the thief. Then he answered, "I'm ashamed because I don't have anything that you can take. That's the reason why I hide here."